Wednesday, February 17, 2010

43 Simple Ways To Simplify Your Life


  1. Remove your doors.
  2. Eat half of each pet
  3. Sit on a big, thick book
  4. Something something keyring holder
  5. Paint clocks cheery pink
  6. Wear discarded food
  7. Make-believe girlfriend chair
  8. Sleep in liquor cabinet
  9. Embrace hug love hug meow meow
  10. Small room to plan crimes
  11. Hack your house key organizer
  12. Mail a surprise toaster
  13. Just stare more
  14. Fourteen
  15. Poke holes in paper things
  16. Macrame shoelace tree
  17. Scrapbook poop and pee
  18. Euthanize even faster
  19. Amputate favorite limb
  20. Pencil shaving gallery
  21. Immigrant coat rack
  22. Shoebox of dangerous porn
  23. Zen unicorn rainbow zen journal
  24. Icepick to one good eye
  25. Simplify fourteen harder
  26. Aluminum foil swan cozy dryer
  27. Smell your finger. All of it.
  28. Resimplify your simplicity
  29. Habitualize your zen
  30. Remind your drapes, “I love you, Mrs. Textile”
  31. Freeze your clutter
  32. Couch fort dinner party
  33. Nicene creed robot
  34. Only sodomize things that forgive
  35. Coaxial sweater vest
  36. Transitive verb predicate clause
  37. More crying but quieter
  38. Inhaler nativity
  39. Contact paper taxonomy binder
  40. America’s Roast Beef: Yes, Sir
  41. Breathe like no one’s dancing
  42. Unbridled solo diaper play
  43. Illuminated panty shrine

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments:

Blogger The Fu2rman said...

I think I'm going to my #10, so I can #13 but not before I rub one out and #27. But I will make sure to #14 and #23 before I go to sleep...

I'm feeling simpler already, ahhhhh...

12:11 AM  
Blogger Peter Dengler said...

Never consider simplifying one's life stupid. It's more like ...

Well, you're right, it's just stupid.

7:42 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home