Monday, February 13, 2006

Cheney Shoots Lawyer In The Face

I was talking to Pastorius today, and we have figured out what happened, and why the White House took so long to comment about it.

Vice President Mistakenly Shoots Hunting Buddy

This story is so unbelievable, you won't believe it.

First of all, there are so many complex issues at work here, I'm going to try to keep it as easy to follow as possible.

OK, Harry Whittington was the lawyer that Cheney shot, and he is on the Board of Directors of Haliburton.

Haliburton is in the midst of a big-time under-the-table no-bid contract, and it seems Whittington was not getting behind it.

He apparently was getting cold feet about the deal, and didn't want to be a part of it, because 'it was unethical' or something like that.

No big deal, so far, but check this out, the only way he could be removed from the Board of Haliburton, is...

One, if he sells all of his shares in the company and foregoes all of his stock options.

Or the other way is if he dies, in which case all of his shares and options go back to Haliburton, and cannot be willed or put in trust for his family.
Of course, the Board of Haliburton asked him to sell his stock, and give up his options, he said No.

And that is what Cheney was discussing with him on the hunting trip. Cheney was going to try to convince hime to change his mind.

As it goes, Cheney could not get Whittington to agree to these terms, so they went to plan B.

A hunting 'accident'.

The problem was that there was a mix up in the rifles, Whittington was supposed to be given the rifle loaded with the birdshot, (little BB's packed into a shotgun shell), and Cheney was supposed to be given the rifle that would have been lethal to a person.

It's a good thing Whittington didn't shoot a bird, or there would have been nothing left of it.

Of course, GW Bush knew about the plan because he gets kick backs from Haliburton, and that is why the White House took so much time to respond.

From what I heard, Bush was so angry about the mishap, that he went on a 15 hour drinking binge, plus he had all of his kick back money, bet on the Pro-Bowl, and now that was in jeopardy!
So what are they going to do about Whittington?

Good question.


And that,
ladies and gentlemen, was The Fu2rman's impression of Michael Moore!

C'mon, you know that was dead on...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's not funny.

You have to understand that Dick Cheney has to be feeling really bad about shooting his friend, on accident.

I think making jokes about it is very insensitive.

It shows poor taste.

11:54 PM  
Blogger Fu2rman said...


I assure you, it was not my intention to be insensitive.

I a fan of Cheney, I totally get what you are saying, I know he feels bad.

The post was really more about how the Left was going to spin this unfortunate event. Like Hillary, paraphrasing here...this is an administration that has a history of hiding things...How dare her!

My intention was to show the absurdity of how the Left, and the MSM can be in times like this.

Did you here some of the questions asked regarding the incident?

Not to mention the fact that the media seemed all over the $7 stamp for hunting (small game birds was it?) that Cheney's hunting license was missing.

Now that is insensitive!

Reporter asks, "Yes, VP Cheney didn't have the proper license to hunt quail, what do you have to say about that?"

You idiot, a man was injured, badly, in an accident!

Who gives a **** about a $7 stamp!

Anyway, if I offended you, I'm sorry, but I don't think you understood the jist of the post.

But thank you for commenting, and if this was offensive, read the blog, I promise you will like it.

If anyone wrote something like I wrote, but in a serious manner, I would not just be offended, I would shoot them in the face.

Just kidding!

What? Too soon?

2:30 AM  

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