Saturday, May 22, 2010

Bear in hospital

For all you readers out there who have been emailing and writing letters by hand, many of them in fine calligraphy as though drawn with a quill, complaining that the After Party does not have enough pictures of bears wandering into hospitals, this is the only one I could come up with, but I hope it satisfies you all, so you can shut your goddamn pie-holes about it and move on to other things. Here ya go, via the BBC from 2004:

A black bear ended up with more than a sore head when it activated automatic doors and wandered into a US hospital.

Startled doctors, nurses and patients saw the 345lb (156kg) animal walking through the emergency ward and into an office full of computers.

Two police officers trapped the bear inside and decided the best option was to shoot it dead rather than try to sedate it and risk an escape.

No-one, apart from the bear, was injured at the Virginia hospital.

Fortunately, after this 2004 incident, the federal government sprang into action and enacted the Bear Free Hospitals Act of 2004, to Make Sure Nothing Like This Ever Happens Again! When president Bush signed the act into law, he was surrounded by children with cancer who were startled when the bear wandered past their hospital beds.

I'm so full of hatred of our government, not even a picture of a bear wandering the halls of a hospital can put my mind at ease for more than a few moments before my hatred starts burbling to the surface. What I would really like to see is a bear rampaging through the Senate. Or better yet, 10 bears, full grown, starving, mentally deranged grizzley bears. Ten bears to represent the 10 commandments.


Blogger Peter Dengler said...

Awesome. Now that we have a picture of a bear in a hospital, I know I'm gonna get some pussy tonight. Chicks dig bears in hospital pictures.

Especially those whores in Canada.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Ronald Webster said...

Oh Canada, how loose your women are, willing to lick Iron Man's iron balls after he shows you his picture of a bear in a hospital or at the DMV even

7:47 PM  
Blogger Pastorius said...

Sometimes they'll give it up at the site of a stuffed bear (you know, taxidermy) traversing the halls of an assisted living facility.

8:21 PM  

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