Saturday, June 05, 2010

Corona Beer: BANNED From All After Party Events

In our constant pursuit of getting rid of Pussified Men, let me take you on a journey...

This is a Corona commercial that's been around for a little while.  Kind of funny, dude gets caught checking out a hottie, his GF busts him, no biggie.

In the next installment, we some redemption for our man here...Oh but wait!

What's this?  Of course!  He is either too stupid or too much of a douche-bag to bust her.  I was on the phone with the Wicked Pixie when I first saw this.  My though in the moment was, WOW! what a bitch!  But as we talked, I realized I was pissed at HIM for being the bitch.

Then a third edition of this little soap opera came out, I haven't been able to find it anywhere, so I can only explain it.  And here goes...

Our little pussified man-girl sees the white bikini clad chick from the first ad, BUT...this time she has two equally hot friends with her...mmmmm, three tiny bikinis on appropriate bikini bodies...frolicking at the waters edge, getting just a little wet, oh yes, a splash fight, things could turn deliciously naughty at any moment...mmm, mmm, MMMM!

But camera pans back to our sissy and her uh, I mean his, castrating other half...

What does he do?  Tell her to get off her lazy ass and join them, and bring at least one of them home with her or don't bother coming home!!!


In the most disgusting act possible, he takes his own lime, removes his shades and squeezes the lime in his own face...

I know you could say, 'Fu2rman, lighten up, it's only a commercial.'

And you're right, but it is a symptom of something bigger.  For too long men have been the butt of jokes, and because we are the stronger and better sex, we allowed it.  But now, it's gone too far.

Just like when a child tests the boundries a parent has set, so too has the feminonsense movement.  It's gotten so bad that even beer ads think it's OK to portray men as panzies and women as the superior gender.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE women, small ones, bigger ones, not fatties of course, dark ones, light ones, women are great!  

But what I've had enough of is thinking that either the sexes are the same, or the women's way is the RIGHT way.  Men and women are not the same, never were, never will be.  So it's time to put a halt to women making men into women.  And sometimes a womans approach IS the better approach, but not always!  I mean jeez, it's usually so full of randomness that who could follow it anyway.

I know it will be difficult to change this trend, but when you see an ad like this, stop using their product.

When you're out in world, and you see a little man-girl like the one in the Corona ad, we have to intervene. 

In the intervention, you do one of two things:  Tell him to stand up, get in his chicks face and demand his testicles back!


If  he refuses, or fails, it means he is too far gone, and we have to leave him behind.  You then yank his man-card, tear it up in front of him, slap a skirt and heels on him, and nobody will even remember he used to be a man.

Ah, I feel better, now it's time for a Mexican beer and some rays by the pool...

Better make mine a Pacifico...


Anonymous Will said...

That "soap opera" is pretty funny.
I personally love the new Guinness "fortune favors the bold" ads. They're very clever and often very funny.
You should check them out.

8:48 PM  
Blogger The Fu2rman said...

Yes! The Guinness commercials are great, I agree.

They make me want to drink Guinness, because they portray men as men.

And who buys beer? Men!

Why would anyone insult the consumer of their product?

Corona is stupid, Guinness has it right.

12:46 AM  

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