Saturday, February 13, 2010

I Have A Renewed Faith In Tiger's Manhood


It's being reported that Tiger is having some issues with his sex rehab...I say, It's finally going great!!!

The article also claims that Woods denied having a sex addiction problem and "ridiculed fellow patients and refused to cooperate with therapists."

Aaaahhhhh, one of the slutty chicks that wants an excuse for her sluttiness broke down in tears, that's sad.

Wrong!  It's perfect!! 
When I heard Tiger was in sex rehab I was sad.  What an emasculating situation Tiger finds himself.  I get it, the dude brought it on himself, and he's trying to get his reputation and his extremely lucrative sponsors back, but sex rehab?  One thing I know about Tiger is that he is not a quitter, and going to rehab is the worst form of quitting.

Here's the deal.  When you want to troll for some tail, you don't go to a bar or nightclub, you go to a co-ed-sex-addicts-anonymous/rehab.  It's like an alcoholic going to a bartenders convention.  It's shooting fish in a barrel. 

Let's start here, Rachel Uchitel.  Just look at her, she has a great rack, total fuck-hair at what appears to be the airport, she looks like a nasty girl.  And believe me, I know a nasty girl when I see one.  I dig this girl already.  And seriously, who among us would throw rocks at her? 

Now compare her to Elin Woods....

Elin is very pretty, she's not a dog, she definitely doesn't bark.


But I guarantee, Rachel does!  Uhhh, bark for me Rachel, you filthy animal!!

You can take Elin to meet your mother, and Rachel...well...not so much.

Sorry, I got a little side tracked.

Back to rehab...

Should we believe this story since it was in the National Enquirer?  Frankly, YES, the Enquirer has nailed all the affair related stories.  They broke the Tiger story in the first place.  They broke the John Edwards story, both were right!  So yes, I would say the Enquirer is pretty credible.  

So if we are taking this story as fact, of course Tiger thinks rehab is a joke.  I've said all along, the guy should never have married!  If he wants to be an Urban Sausage, go for it!  Who has the right to stop you?  Well, your wife, if you have one, you dumbass!

The only thing he needs rehab for is getting married in the first place. 

Take a page from a successful career bachelor, Derek Jeter.  Rachel was linked to Jeter as well, which makes my earlier point...This chick is a total nasty girl.  Jeter has never married, which shows he is a very wise man.  You don't see dozens of women coming forward to dish on Jeter.  

Why?  Because he doesn't have anyone to answer to, so they have nothing to gain.  

That situation would work out like this...

Slutty Bar Chick:  I had sex with Derek Jeter.

The Tabloids:  Derek, is this true?

Derek Jeter:  I'm an adult, she's an adult, we fucked, so what?

See how simple that is?  Nail all the slutty bar chicks you can handle -OR- get married.  Never both.

Last point...why is some silly broad that can't keep her legs closed crying over Tiger?  Did he turn her down?  

Or is because he said the program is nonsense?  Because I agree!  

I guess I would have her in tears too if that was the case.  You're a slut, if you want to stop being a slut, stop doing slutty things.  Come on, embrace your inner whore, you know you want to!!!  

Although, if she was hot, and I was doing a Rehab-Run to pull some ass, I would have waited until the next morning to tell her these things.  Well, maybe early afternoon if she was good and I had to have a morning session.  That would push her cooking me breakfast back until late morning...which would have me giving her the boot in the early afternoon.

Sex rehab?  Come on, be serious.  Go to one of their meetings and you'll see what I mean.   However, if you have a wife, and no will power, I don't recommend it.  You will get yourself in trouble.  

Fish in a barrel my friends, fish in a barrel.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Peter Dengler said...

EVERYONE SHOULD BE A SEX ADDICT.

What is there about sex not to be addicted to?

7:17 AM  

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