Monday, August 30, 2010

Boob Apron

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Seaside boardwalk game features Obama as target

SEASIDE HEIGHTS — The day after a YouTube video surfaced of tourists hurling baseballs at an effigy of President Barack Obama on the Seaside Heights boardwalk, Lucky Leo's arcade put a bag over the carnival attraction's head.

Scott Simmons, a daytime manager of Lucky Leo's, said the game — "Walkin Charlie" — is all in good fun and implies no political bend. He explained no one griped when tourists were pummeling President George W. Bush with the same baseballs before Obama. 

And that is the key quote.  

Is this in poor taste?  Sure.  But so what?   

It was fine for Bush, it's fine for Obama.

Chick Gets Hit By Foul Ball As BF 'Bails'

They start with a great statement, 'Chivalry is Dead.'

And the news-chick clowned him and called him a 'little chicken,' Classic!

What do you think?  Is he a pansy freakin' douchebag?  

Or did she get what she deserves?  

I mean, women want to be treated equally, so...

Jennifer Kwok Wants To Take You Home

Thursday, August 05, 2010

PETA Protests Cock Soccer

(Liaoning Province, China) Perpetually-outraged PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are currently complaining about cock soccer.The soccer-playing cocks were the idea of Zhang Lijun of China back as she noticed the roosters had a good time when allowed to play with balls.

She started throwing them mini-soccer balls to kick around a few years ago and was amazed how they reacted to them.

The entrepreneur is now organizing and holding mini-tournaments on the ancient streets of Shenyang, which is located in Liaoning province in northeast China.

She stated the roosters don’t take any dives like some of the sport’s prima donnas do and are glad to play for chickenfeed.PETA President Ingrid Newkirk said the cocks are being exploited and abused.

"...roosters had a good time when allowed to play with balls." And, "The cocks are being exploited and abused."

What could I possibly add to that?

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

It Was Probably An Accident

Woman Sprayed With Human Semen At Grocery Store

GAITHERSBURG, Md - As a woman was leaving a Giant store a man sprayed liquid on her back. An examination revealed the liquid was human semen.

It happened at the Giant store located at 842 Muddy Branch Road on July 15, 2010.

Witnesses saw the man get into a gray vehicle and drive away.

On July 29, 2010, the Gaithersburg Police Investigative Section arrested 28-year-old Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr. of the 17000 block of Downing Street in Gaithersburg. Edwards was charged with second degree assault with additional charges forthcoming.

After his arrest and interview it was learned that there are additional unidentified victims. If you believe you have been a victim of such a crime and have seen Edwards please contact Detective Corporal Word at 301-258-6400.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Videos From Monday's Show

Randy Rainbow's phone conversation with Barak and Michelle Obama and Hilary Clinton. 

Stealers Wheel had it absolutely correct when they said...Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, Stuck in the middle with you.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

You Want It All

Ain't Coming Home

The Story Played Out

Fan earns jail time for vomit-assault at Phillies game

A 21-year-old man who intentionally vomited on a spectator and his 11-year-old daughter at a Philadelphia Phillies game was sentenced Friday to up to three months in jail and community service, which the judge suggested be fulfilled by cleaning ballpark toilets and trash.

Matthew Clemmens, of Cherry Hill, N.J., was taken into custody immediately after Family Court Judge Kevin Dougherty imposed the sentence, and several family members burst into sobs as he was handcuffed.

The spectator Clemmens vomited on and punched, Michael Vangelo, of Easton, said his daughter Mikayla is still traumatized.

''What really bothers me about the incident is that Mikayla refuses to talk about it,'' he testified.

The family has received offers from the team and complete strangers for tickets to future games, but ''she does not want to go,'' said Vangelo, an Easton police captain. He said he also has not returned to Citizens Bank Park since the assault.

Clemmens pleaded guilty in May to charges of assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. He admitted he stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited on Vangelo and Mikayla at a Phillies-Nationals game on April 14.

Clemmens was sentenced to one to three months in jail, two years of probation and 50 hours of community service, which Dougherty suggested be served at Citizens Bank Park. The maximum penalty was two years in jail. Public defender Richard Hark asked for probation.

Clemmens sobbed as he read from a statement expressing remorse for his actions.

''I'm working every day to clear this black mark from me and my family,'' Clemmens said. ''Give me the opportunity to show you who I am and not who I was that one afternoon.''

His parents, acquaintances and grandfather - who took a 27-hour train ride from Florida to attend the sentencing - testified that he was a good person who volunteers in his community and made one uncharacteristically bad mistake.

Dougherty said he believed the defendant's apology was ''feigned.''

''Superficially you present yourself one way, but outside of the home you present yourself another way,'' Dougherty said, calling Clemmens a ''mean-spirited and vulgar'' young man who humiliated his family and tarnished the city's reputation.

Clemmens and his friend were cursing and heckling the Vangelo family from the first inning. Vangelo's 15-year-old daughter asked them to stop the profanity around her younger sister, prompting more heckling and cursing. The family was doused with beer when they rose to cheer a Phillies home run, and Vangelo eventually complained to security that Clemmens' friend was spitting, which hit his younger daughter's jacket and seat.

After the friend was ejected, Clemmens was sitting alone when he answered his cell phone and said: ''I need to do what I need to do. I'm going to get sick,'' prosecutors said.

He then put his fingers down his throat and ''projectile vomited,'' Vangelo said. He also punched Vangelo several times, causing his ear to bleed, before being tackled by other spectators and arrested.

Salvatore DeAngelis, manager of Phillies ballpark security, testified the team received thousands of calls, e-mails and letters from people asking ''how something like this could happen.''

''Initially there was some concern that it was an unsafe place to attend a game,'' he said.

Dougherty also ordered Clemmens to pay Vangelo $315, the cost of the five tickets for him and his family to attend the game. Vangelo said he intended to donate the money to the Easton Police Athletic League.

Neither Clemmens' family nor Vangelo would comment after the hearing. His daughters were not in court. District Attorney Patrick Doyle said the victims were satisfied with the sentence.