Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hey Fu2rman, Is This Chick Crazy Enough For Ya'?

Crazy chicks are supposed to be great in bed, but I think we may need a new ruling on that, in order to class out chicks like this.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I May Have To Start Watching Clippers Games

Blake Griffin may the first truly great athlete to wear a Clipper uniform.

To me, this guy looks like he could become one of the NBA's all-time greats.

Fox Sports and Paul Westphal on Black Griffin:

'He's one of the bright young talents to come into this league and I think he's going to have a great career,'' Westphal said. ''He's a scary athlete and he's quite an imposing physical presence. He's got a work ethic and there's very few holes in his game. It starts with his tremendous explosiveness. He's not only strong but he's quick, and he's got size to go with all those things. He's also relentless, and that's a skill, too.''

Despite all the superlatives Griffin already has received from coaches, players and advance scouts around the league, it may be to early for the snake-bitten and injury-prone Clippers to start planning on a dynasty - or even think of themselves as a championship-caliber team or a perennial playoff contender. After all, they are still the Clippers - a beleaguered franchise that has made the postseason only four times in its 26 previous seasons in Los Angeles.

''First of all, one player can never turn a franchise around,'' Westphal said. ''But when you look historically at the great players who have come in and taken a team that had been bad and all of a sudden they became one of the best teams - like Kareem, David Robinson, Tim Duncan, Magic, Shaq, those kinds of players, when they're added to a group they can really take them to another level.''

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Lakers Andrew Bynum Has MRI On His Vagina

Apparently, it is dislocated, but Drs. have cleared him to play.

He says he may need a couple more weeks.

At this rate, 39 year old Theo Ratliffe ought to be returning from knee surgery about the same time as Drew.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Re: Was Hot Once ...

Dengler, it's funny you put up a picture of Marilyn Monroe.  I've always thought she was hot...until I saw this picture.

I actually saw this in the restroom of a restaurant this week. And I know I didn't mention it to you, hence, me thinking it was funny that you posted a pic of MM.  

Now, I don't know if there is any correlation between my not finding this attractive, and me being in a men's restroom.  But, upon seeing it, while urinating, caused me obvious shrinkage.

What do you think of this photo?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Was Hot Once ...

Not just another elegant, yet tragic, diva for gay guys. No.

Marilyn Monroe used to be really smokin' hot.

One of the best asses ever.

Just When I Start To Believe I've Lost All Innocence, Something Comes Along And Make Me Realize, In Some Ways, I'm Still A Pristine Bud of a Blossom In A Dewy Spring Meadow

... compared to some of the really fucked-up people out there.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Chippendale's - The Early Years

Sexy Posture Explained

Traversing the usual, the urban landscape rendered almost indistinguishable by the omnipresent familiar, one often comes across an attractive female assuming this odd and mysteriously sexy pose.

I, for one, have become so accustomed, perhaps I should say, inured to the sight of extravagantly beautiful women squatting naked in the street that I have ceased asking myself the obvious question:

"Why do they do this to us? Why assume such a posture?"

After all, I'm late for a meeting, for God's sake.

So today, I got to meet Elizabeth Loaiza, the model whose photograph adorns this post. Seizing the opportunity, I decided to bring the subject out into the open.

Why squat? Like that? In the street?

"Did you have to pee?" I queried.

To my surprise, the answer rebounded a cultivated and pacific, "Not at all."

Turns out she simply felt the need to be naked right then, for no reason, other than her own intimate knowledge of the sheer and pressing reality of her exquisite allure.

And, who can blame her?

Anyone? Anyone?

We think not.

Quantitative Easing Explained

'The Ben Bernank' is defending QE2.  Here is a humorous explination...

I want to bang my head against a wall too, but I won't, the healthcare is too expensive...

Thanks little cartoon-robot-bear/dog(?)-dude!

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Life is full of trick plays and life isn't fair you stupid whimpering whining pussy. Better the kids learn to watch for them now than when they're grown up or they'll end up with someone like Barack Obama for President.

Now shut the fuck up and gimme your fucking lunch money.

Trickery On The Football Field: Like Child Abuse?
(NPR)- By now, you may be among the millions of people who’ve seen on YouTube the trick football play pulled off by the Driscoll Middle School of Corpus Christi, Texas.

If you’ve been watching President Obama abroad or otherwise wasting your time, here’s what happens: Driscoll breaks out of the huddle, and the quarterback lines up over the ball. From the sideline, the assistant coach calls out that Driscoll deserves a five-yard penalty.

At this point, the Driscoll center casually hands the ball over his shoulder to the quarterback. This is perfectly acceptable, even though we know that the center invariably delivers the ball through his legs.

The quarterback then takes the ball and starts to walk off five yards himself, as the opponents look on, confused. Then, clear of the opposition, the quarterback suddenly breaks into a run and dashes 67 yards for a touchdown.

The play is legal, and just about everybody who has seen it gets a real hoot out of it. In one online poll, 92.1 percent of those who voted said the play was genius.

Well, it isn’t funny, and it isn’t right.

….But the Driscoll team didn’t act instinctively to try to put one over on a ref. The middle schoolers didn’t even come up with the ruse. Their coach dreamed up the play, and even participated in it, hollering from the sideline. The referees weren’t victimized. In fact, they had to play along.

No, it was only the other team’s kids who were embarrassed and belittled by a children’s coach being a wise guy, a bully of sorts. It wasn’t genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse. Sure, it was legal, but it wasn’t fair.

Laugh at kids being outslicked by a grown-up, and you’re cruel. That isn’t sport.

Old Canadian Woman

Canadian women have horns/antlers. It's just a natural fact.

They're usually pretty good at hiding them with, like, a beret or something. But, elderly women often lose the impulse to vanity, and can sometimes be found wandering the streets with their antlers on full display.







In Praise Of Women With Antlers

One thing we need to get damn straight is, we here at the After Party, we fucking hate Canadians. We're cool with all other races, but we fucking hate the Canadians.

If a Canadian tries to date my daughter, I'll kill him.

In fact, the Fu2rman and I will probably round up a whole gang of torch and pitchfork carryin' men, take the Canadian out into a field, and fucking lynch him.

I hate Canadians so much that, one time at a party, someone handed me a beer in a mug, I took a couple of long gulps of it, turned to the guy, and asked, "What the fuck kind of pansy-assed beer is this?"

He says, "It's Molson."

I fucking puked that shit up all over the guys shirt right then and there.
And, it served him right.

As much as I hate Canadians, though, there's one thing I gotta give them credit for. It's a little known fact, but their women have antlers.

Yes, it's true.

Someone up there in Canada must have fucked a reindeer a few generations back, and now all their women have antlers. Most people don't know this, because all the Canadian women file their antlers down, and grow hair over them to cover them up.

But, the thing is, one night I was getting completely hammered at this bar in Seattle, and I picked up on this Canadian chick (did I mention I was completely blitzed?) in a really huge, funky-assed hat. I took her out to the parking lot, and she proceeded to go down on me right there in between two cars.

I couldn't see her face, cuz the hat was in the way (I like to watch the Dengler slide in and out of the mouth, you know what I mean guys), so I took the hat off, and what do I see?
A huge pair of antlers.

At first I was too stunned to know what to do. But then, with the Dengler about to explode - even though she wasn't quite giving me the full-on sword-swallowing treatment - I grabbed hold of those antlers and started twisting her head up and down and back and forth, just the way I wanted it.

Voila, sword-swallowing galore.

She took all 23 inches of my cock right down that throat

It was such a turn on that I coated her stomach in about a gallon of man-juice, and went home.

So, the moral to this story is, if you ever see a chick with antlers, do not let it turn you off.

It is a beautiful thing. Almost enough to make this Canadian-hater change his mind about Canada.

Monday, November 15, 2010

This is Just Too Funny!

Cooch Problems, A Photo-Documentary

Here is your World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama on the world stage just being herself. You can dress her up but you can’t air her out. A burqa would have been a more forgiving choice for her here. I bet she’s kicking herself about that now. Or kicking someone anyway.

Jakarta, we have a problem. Furrows of concern creep onto the unBotoxed brow. WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO?

Lack of airing out has created a "situation" , cooch-wise. She's trying to bunch up the fabric of those pantalones and saw them back and forth for a little relief.

The fingers on her left hand are starting to curl towards their target. Concentrate! Concentrate! Must. Resist. Scratching. Oops - here we go.

Ahhhhhh! NOW we can smile

Okay! Casual hand placement! Goodbye! See you in Korea! 

Well that's just great!  Isn't she supposed to be the classiest, smartest, most beautiful First Lady since Jacqueline Kennedy?  

Guess not...

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Black Betty Had A WHAT?

Black Betty Then. . .

And Now. . .
(kinda sorts looks like Ram Jam)

Friday, November 05, 2010

Another Crazy Broad...

"Somebody Is Going To Eat My Pussy, Or I'm Going To Cut Your Fucking Throat"

This is a true story, for God's sake
Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a West Virginia motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Too Funny!



Cartoons  from Across the Globe