Saturday, May 29, 2010

Phils "Doc" Halladay -- 27 Up, 27 Down!

Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. Never play baseball against a man called Doc. . .

Wish Harry could have called this one



Phils' Halladay pitches perfect game

MIAMI (AP)
Stoic as always, Roy Halladay's expression never changed.

Until the end, that is.

Until there was history — a perfect game, the marquee performance of his All-Star career.

The Philadelphia Phillies' ace threw the 20th perfect game in major league history, beating the Florida Marlins 1-0 on Saturday night.

At 9:23 p.m., when he got pinch-hitter Ronny Paulino to hit a grounder to third for the 27th out, only then could Halladay bask in his moment — breaking into a big smile and wrapping his arms around catcher Carlos Ruiz before disappearing in a joyous, jumping gray-and-red mob of teammates.

"It's never something that you think is possible,'' Halladay said. "Really, once I got the two outs, I felt like I had a chance. You're always aware of it. It's not something that you expect.''

It was the second perfect game in the majors this month alone, unheralded Dallas Braden doing it for Oakland against Tampa Bay on May 9. It's the first time in the modern era that there were a pair of perfectos in the same season - Colorado's Ubaldo Jimenez threw a no-hitter, too, in April.

Halladay struck out 11, and was cheered by a crowd of 25,086 throughout much of the night. Another fan called later — Vice President Joe Biden dialed up the Phillies' clubhouse to offer his congratulations when it was over.

"Early in my bullpen I was hitting spots more than I have been. I felt like I just carried that out there,'' Halladay said.

While there were a couple of good plays behind him — shortstop Wilson Valdez went deep into the hole for a grounder, backup third baseman Juan Castro went to his knees for another, second baseman Chase Utley ranged well to his left for another fine play — Halladay didn't need any great defensive work in this gem.

"I think everybody knows you have to have those kind of plays to do something like that,'' Halladay said.

Yes, but on this night, the 33-year-old righty known as Doc was a veritable one-man show.

"You've got to take your hat off to Doc,'' Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez said. "That's why he is who he is. That's what they got him for.''

Steely eyed, standing tall and always working swiftly, Halladay (7-3) broke into a big smile as his teammates rushed in to congratulate him.

"That's a big emotion for him,'' Phillies left-hander Jamie Moyer said, laughing in the clubhouse. "It's fun to watch.''

The Marlins said they would give Halladay the pitching rubber as a souvenir, leading to a slightly surreal scene. The lights at Sun Life Stadium went out and fireworks began exploding two minutes after the game ended, with the field crew preparing for a postgame concert behind second base.

Working in the dark, four men went to work on the mound, digging up the slab where Halladay made history.

"Look who's pitching,'' Marlins outfielder Cody Ross said. "It's Roy Halladay, the best pitcher in baseball. It's not embarrassing.''

The concert lasted more than an hour.

On this night, Halladay was the lone maestro.

The former AL Cy Young winner was the centerpiece of a multiteam trade that brought him from Toronto to the two-time NL champions in the offseason, and the Phils gave him a $60 million, three-year contract extension.

He was within one out of a no-hitter on Sept. 27, 1998, in just his second major league start, pitching for the Blue Jays against Detroit. Pinch-hitter Bobby Higginson ended that on the first pitch he saw, hitting a solo home run.

Halladay faced three Marlins pinch-hitters in the ninth. Mike Lamb led off with a long fly ball, but Shane Victorino had plenty of time to backtrack in the super-spacious outfield at Sun Life Stadium and squeeze it for the first out.

Another pinch-hitter, Wes Helms, struck out, and the crowd filled with Phillies fans simply began to roar.

From there, it was all up to Paulino, who fouled the first pitch into the seats along the first-base side, took ball one, swung and missed for strike two, and then stabbed at Halladay's 115th and final offering. Castro ranged to his left to get it and threw across to first baseman Ryan Howard, who caught the ball and jumped in the air.

In a week that saw the hard-hitting Phillies get shut out on three straight days by the New York Mets, Halladay delivered the most masterful pitching performance of all.

"He did what he had to do,'' Phillies manager Charlie Manuel said. ``We gave him one run. He made it stand up. That was good. Super for him.''

On the short list of baseball's perfect games, there are the first two: John Richmond and John Ward pitched them five days apart in 1880, two decades before what is considered the modern era.

This was the Phillies' second perfect game, with Jim Bunning having thrown one in 1964. Philadelphia has thrown 10 no-hitters, the last by Kevin Millwood in 2003.

It was the second time the Marlins had been no-hit in their history, the lone other coming by the Dodgers' Ramon Martinez on July 14, 1995.

Halladay credited catcher Carlos Ruiz for a smooth ride.

"We felt like we got in a groove early and about the fifth or the sixth I was just following Chooch,'' he said. ``I can't say enough about the job he did today. Mixed pitches. For me it was really a no-brainer.''

The NL East leaders' lone run off Josh Johnson (5-2) came in the third, and fittingly in this battle of aces, it was unearned. Valdez singled, then scored when Chase Utley's fly to center skipped off Cameron Maybin's glove for a three-base error.

"It's one of those things where everything has to go right and it did,'' Maybin said. "J.J. did a great job of competing. Unfortunately, one play ... that was the ballgame.''

Valdez scored easily. And Halladay had all the support he needed.

A Philadelphia story, for certain.

Sorry, Flyers - your return to the Stanley Cup finals on Saturday night just got upstaged, in a big way. In fact, NBC broke into its coverage of the Game 1 of the Flyers-Chicago matchup to show a replay of the final out.

There have now been three perfect games in the last 10 months, with Mark Buehrle doing it last July 23 for the Chicago White Sox against Tampa Bay.

Halladay had a complete-game one-hitter last September against the New York Yankees, though with far less drama, thanks to Ramiro Pena getting a double to right field in the sixth inning.

Unshakable on the mound, not even three-ball counts fazed Halladay.

He went to either 3-1 or 3-2 counts seven times, twice in the game's first three batters alone, and always worked out of the trouble. Chris Coghlan tossed his bat aside on the Marlins' first plate appearance of the night, thinking he'd drawn a walk, only to hear plate umpire Mike DiMuro call strike three.

Coghlan wasn't pleased, and that was a theme for the Marlins throughout.

"I thought they were balls, that's why I took them. But obviously they're too close to take,'' Coghlan said. "I don't want to talk about the strike zone because that's discrediting what he did.''

Hanley Ramirez had the same issue two batters later, stepping toward first after thinking a 3-1 pitch missed the zone. It hadn't, DiMuro said, and Ramirez wound up grounding out.

That was just the start.

Jorge Cantu went to a 3-1 count in the second before striking out on a foul tip. Dan Uggla had a three-ball count before a flyoutr in the fifth, and Maybin added drama in the sixth.

Maybin showed bunt twice, drawing a small chorus of boos, and eventually worked his way ahead 3-1. He ended up hitting a hard shot to deep short, where Valdez fielded it on a hop and threw to Howard in time to beat Maybin by a half-step — umpire Tim Welke taking a big swing to indicate the out.

Halladay got another nice play in the eighth when Castro went to his knees to snare a sharp grounder off Cantu's bat, recovering and throwing to first in plenty of time. When Cody Ross popped to short to end the eighth, Halladay showed no emotion, simply walking to the dugout with his head bowed a bit, tugging once on the left shoulder of his gray jersey.

"I was thinking, if somebody hit a ball close to me, I was going to do whatever it takes,'' Castro said.

For the Marlins, Johnson threw a career-high 121 pitches in seven innings, giving up seven hits, one unearned run, one intentional walk and striking out six.

His night was stellar — and didn't even come close to comparing to his counterpart.

"He's the best right-hander in the game,'' Johnson said, ``and he kind of proved it.''
Dennis Hopper
1936 - 2010

Friday, May 28, 2010

Top Heavy

Uh, WOW!


She looks like she might fall over.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Looking for a gift for your daughters, Mr Dengler?

video

Michael Jordan Hitler?

I thought I was seeing things in this commercial tonight as I was watching the Lakers squeak past the Suns in a very exciting finish, so I had to check it out again.

Why is MJ sporting a Hitler 'stache?

Are You Kidding?

Obama has been completely absent on the oil leak in the gulf, well, except for some useless complaining about how BP has been handling it.  

We had LA Governor Bobby Jindal asking for federal permits to start building islands of sorts between the spill and the beach...Obama was silent.

As thick oil flows into the sensitive marshes of the Louisiana coast, Gov. Bobby Jindal called on the White House and BP today to either stop the oil spill or get out of his way.  

Jindal is still waiting for the federal government to provide millions of feet in boom and to approve an emergency permit for a state plan to dredge and build new barrier islands to keep the oil from reaching the marshes and wetlands.
Jindal is so desperate for the islands, he's said he'll build them even if it sends him to jail.
"We've been frustrated with the disjointed effort to date that has too often meant too little, too late for the oil hitting our coast," Jindal said.


Then yesterday, Democrat Heavy Weight James Carville blasts Obama. 

The "political stupidity is unbelievable," Democratic strategist James Carville said on "Good Morning America" today. "The president doesn't get down here in the middle of this. ... I have no idea of why they didn't seize this thing. I have no idea of why their attitude was so hands off here."

Then today, Obama says, don't sweat it people...we've been in charge the whole time.  I got this!

OK, if we are to believe you, then why was the Governor of the state that is directly affected NOT in the loop?

I have never been a fan of Obama, but I at least believed when it all came down to it, he would do what HE thought was best for the country.  When pirates kidnapped the captain, Obama allowed snipers to take out the pirates.  I'm sure he would have rather brought them here to 'understand' why 'we' deserved their piracy, but he did the right thing.

Now I'm convinced that Obama does what is good for Obama.  Obama-care has a few political casualties already, but Obama doesn't care.  Jindal was not kept out of the loop, he was flat out IGNORED.  Obama couldn't allow him to get involved and actually show leadership during a crisis.  That would highlight Obama's lack of leadership.  Plus, if it worked, WOW! That would really make Obama look bad. 

If you don't agree with me, fine, but you can't possibly disagree that The Obama is an egomaniac to a level we've never seen.

In his speech today he mentioned his daughter Malia.  What kind of BS lines has he been feeding this 12 year?  Seriously, if she was 4 or 5, I could see this happening...

"When I woke up this morning and I'm shaving," he said, "Malia knocks on my bathroom door and she peeks in her head and she says, 'Did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?'"

Of course, I don't believe that ever happened, I believe Obama made up the scene to score political points.  And frankly, in my book he lost points.

The dude sat on his hands for almost 40 days, and now that BP may have actually fixed the problem, he is ready to swoop in and take the credit...

Yep, that's our president...

For Roxana Shirazi

Zappa

Crew Slut




Fembot In a Wet T-Shirt (On the Bus)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Iranian groupie 'risks life' for book on fucking famous rockers

Instead of blowing herself up, this Muslim babe just blows the band on the back of the bus.

From MSN:

A self-proclaimed "slut" from Iran may become the target of Muslim extremists after she penned a book about having sex with the world's most famous rockers.

Roxana Shirazi, who lived in Tehran until she was 10, claims to have had sexual encounters with members of Guns N' Roses, Motley Crue, Velvet Revolver, Papa Roach and Skid Row.

Several editors and agents reportedly refused to work with her on the book, titled The Last Living Slut: Born in Iran, Bred Backstage, for fear of enraging the Muslim community.

"I haven't attacked Islam itself," she told the New York Daily News.

"But they probably don't think I should be writing about doing sex during my Koran classes."

The London resident, who is in her 30s and holds a master of fine arts degree, said she could probably never go home.

"I think I would get killed if I went back to Tehran," she said.

Her friends, authors Neil Strauss and Anthony Bozza, reportedly convinced HarperCollins to publish the book on its new Igniter label.

In addition to explicit tales of her experiences as a groupie, the book contains several nude photographs.

Among her claims in the book, she says she "fell in love" with Axl Rose's bandmate Dizzy Reed.

But when she told him she was pregnant, she claims, he began sending her cruel text messages.

"I hope you go through more abortions, to be honest ... have a wonderful time aborting your children, you piece of s***," he said in one, according to Shirazi.

The book hits shelves in the US on June 1.

If You Could, Would You?

I'd Do Her

What about you, Fu2rman?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Redheads Are the Spice Of Life

That means they're great to taste, but you wouldn't want to make a whole meal out of 'em.



And yes, they are all fucking crazy, and if you get tied up with one, you'll end up crazy too ... if you aren't already.

Bigger, Harder, Longer


You want to be bigger, harder, longer? Arginine may just be the answer you're looking for.

I'm 47. And though I'm in good shape, I must admit that, more and more over the last four or five years, I feel tired after working out, I feel cloudy in the brain, I lay around and rest and sleep when I would have been bouncing off walls, and sometimes I don't even want to bother finding out if the wife is into it.

There I said it.

But, recently, I started taking the Amino Acid supplement L-Arginine. I take it in concert with another Amino Acid called Lysine. I take it about one hour before working out. And the effect I have seen is dramatic.

I only started taking Arginine about 2 weeks ago, but already I have improved my weight-lifting by 20% and my aerobic workout by 10%.

And, I feel more energy throughout the day.

And, well, I'll leave the rest of the equation to you to figure out.

Here's an article that explains how L-Arginine works:

Arginine is an amino acid that is known as a growth hormone releaser. The decrease of growth hormone in the human body with aging is a major reason why muscle mass tends to decrease with age and body fat tends to increase with age. Decreases in growth hormone also are partially responsible for the slower rate of skin growth with aging, which results in thinner and less flexible skin. Injections of growth hormone can reverse these problems. Even though the cost of growth hormone injections have come down in price considerably since the injections first became available, they are still very costly. Growth hormone injections introduce growth hormone in a manner that is very different from the way it is produced by the pituitary gland. Growth hormone cannot be taken orally, because it is broken down in the digestive tract.

An alternative method of increasing one's level of growth hormone is to take a growth hormone releaser such as arginine.

Arginine is also a powerful immune stimulant and wound-healing agent. At one time, this was thought to be exclusively due to its growth hormone releasing properties; but arginine is a powerful immune stimulant and wound healing agent even in the absence of significant growth hormone release. It is now known that arginine has other important benefits as a precursor of nitric oxide.

Nitric oxide is usually thought of as a toxic component of smog, but recent scientific discoveries have shown it to be a biological compound of immense importance. Nitric oxide is the epithelial-derived relaxing factor, the chemical secreted by the lining of human blood vessels that causes the blood vessels to dilate, and thus determines what parts of the body receive extra blood flow, and what parts will receive less in response to other biological signals.

Adequate nitric oxide also helps to insure that this allocation of blood flow is accomplished without undue increases in blood pressure. Scientists have searched for years for the chemical that causes this blood vessel dilation. They were not expecting that the chemical would be a gas, although nitric oxide dissolves easily in water. The search for this chemical was made even more difficult by the fact that the nitric oxide is destroyed by hemoglobin within about three seconds of the time it is released in the blood vessel lining.

Nitric oxide now also appears to be the neurotransmitter responsible for converting short-term memories to long-term memories in the brain. This is another ability that often declines with aging.

Go read the whole thing.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Ozzy



Saturday, May 22, 2010

Bear in hospital

For all you readers out there who have been emailing and writing letters by hand, many of them in fine calligraphy as though drawn with a quill, complaining that the After Party does not have enough pictures of bears wandering into hospitals, this is the only one I could come up with, but I hope it satisfies you all, so you can shut your goddamn pie-holes about it and move on to other things. Here ya go, via the BBC from 2004:


A black bear ended up with more than a sore head when it activated automatic doors and wandered into a US hospital.

Startled doctors, nurses and patients saw the 345lb (156kg) animal walking through the emergency ward and into an office full of computers.

Two police officers trapped the bear inside and decided the best option was to shoot it dead rather than try to sedate it and risk an escape.

No-one, apart from the bear, was injured at the Virginia hospital.

Fortunately, after this 2004 incident, the federal government sprang into action and enacted the Bear Free Hospitals Act of 2004, to Make Sure Nothing Like This Ever Happens Again! When president Bush signed the act into law, he was surrounded by children with cancer who were startled when the bear wandered past their hospital beds.

I'm so full of hatred of our government, not even a picture of a bear wandering the halls of a hospital can put my mind at ease for more than a few moments before my hatred starts burbling to the surface. What I would really like to see is a bear rampaging through the Senate. Or better yet, 10 bears, full grown, starving, mentally deranged grizzley bears. Ten bears to represent the 10 commandments.

Wonder If It Came In A Brown Paper Wrapper


30,000-year-old Sex Toy Discovered


It was found in a cave in Germany and apparently was used as both a sex toy and as a flint base for making fires. Who knows - maybe they used it for cooking and bashing other tribes skulls in as well.

It was a regular caveman swiss army dildo.


Jordan Romero climbs Mount Everest at 13 and becomes new world record holder

When this kid gets back home he'll be able to get a date with any chic he wants.

Examiner:

Saturday, Jordan Romero, a 13-year-old teen from California was the youngest person to ever climb Mount Everest and broke the world record. Romero said that his lifelong goal is to climb the highest mountain peaks on all seven continents.

Mount Everest is at 29,035 feet and Romero achieved that Saturday. When Romero was 10-years-old he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa. His inspiration came from a painting at his school that had all of the seven highest continent peaks in it.

"Their dreams have now come true. Everyone sounded unbelievably happy," according to a representative of Romero’s on Jordan's blog.

"Every step I take is finally toward the biggest goal of my life, to stand on top of the world," Jordan wrote before reaching his goal.

The former record holder to climb Mount Everest was Temba Tsheri of Nepal who was 16.

Romero is from Big Bear, California, and he climbed Mount Everest with his father, his father's girlfriend and three Sherpa guides, according to MSNBC.

Diana Gonzalez from Salt Lake City, Utah had some concerns about how young Jordan was, “I am not sure I would let my teenager do that. I am sure they took safety measures and had oxygen tanks, but at 13 the lungs are still not fully developed.”

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Taking Care of the Oil Spill

This video is amazing!



I know they don't exactly sound like, or look like your typical MENSA members, but this is truly genius!

The only potential issue I see is that it looks like this solution may only work for the oil on the surface of the water.

Happy Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!

Original artwork posted a few weeks ago, then promptly taken down out of respect for Islam, now reposted out of fear that the founders of Everybody Draw Mohammed Day will hunt me down and cut my head off if I don't show respect for their holiday.













Read all of Zombie's masterful essay at Pajamas Media here, wherein he wishes "a hearty Fuck You! to anyone who tries to erode away the bedrock of our free society". Hear, hear.

And, do not miss the Jawa Report's major contributions here, here, and here.

Then, read Mark Steyn's take here.

Then, check out Blazing Cat Fur.

And Pamela's compilation here;

Then, check out some positive depictions of Big Mo at the People's Cube.

And of course, the EFMD Facebook page, still active as of the time of this posting, and not yet deleted by Facebook in preemptive surrender to threats of violence.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Oh Stop It Already!

Second-grader questions first lady on immigration



Has anyone else had enough of this?

Right First Lady Obama, you want us to believe a 2nd grader just happened to be sitting two people away from you, while you are there with the First Lady of Mexico, and this is the question she came up with, all by herself?  Yeah, right after the President of Mexico chastised us, The US, and Arizona specifically for discriminatory immigration policy.

Come on!  Stop it already!  All too often this is what we get, a politician goes to a school, or any gathering of people for that matter, and we get this kind of staged nonsense, or feigned outrage.

I've had enough, I'm sick of it.

This is exactly like 'reality' TV.  You know, scripted scenes with creative editing, so no actual reality remains.  

Maybe that's what I'm sick of.  I hate reality TV.  It is seriously insulting to the intelligence of the viewer.  This Michelle Obama moment is no different.

I'm not just picking on Michelle here, ALL politicians need to take note.  Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I know I can't be alone here in my opinion.  So here is my promise...if I see ANY politician try these asinine tactics, I will vote against him/her.  Feel free to join me.

The part that is almost worse, are the 'reporters' in this clip.  They are really going to take this seriously?  They are concerned that some people will try to hunt down this girls mother and deport her? 

Really?  Wow, this is a compelling story!

Are THEY completely stupid, or do they think WE are completely stupid?  Do they really believe we are buying this garbage?

Either way, they have ZERO credibility with me.

Well, it was from MSNBC, so the 25 people watching probably were fooled.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Ronnie James Dio and the Prophets





Sunday, May 16, 2010

Ronnie James Dio (1942 - 2010)

Don't Talk to Strangers



Rainbow in the Dark



Frontman for Black Sabbath
Heaven and Hell

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Uh Oh, This Is Not Good

Pec Implant FAIL

As if women aren't already acting stupid enough for the both sexes, look at what this dude is doing.

Ace

Minor content warning on this, as, while I don't think this guy meant to present himself as a transsexual, that's what he's wound up doing.

I think the guy is a bodybuilder. And he wanted really big pecs. So he got some really big silicone pec implants, figuring they'd make him look strong.

He thought, I think, they'd look like muscles.

They don't. They look like knockers.

And nothing says Tough Guy like a swaying, undulating he-rack. Nothing says "I could crush you like a grape" like pendulous mosoms.


Keith Jarrett

Summertime



All The Things You Are

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A Mans Guide To Dating Women Of The World

From DjMick:

dating

WHITE WOMEN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

ITALIAN WOMEN:

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

dating

JEWISH WOMEN:

First Date: You get terrific head.

Second Date: You get even more great head.

Third Date: You tell her you’ll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN:

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realized nothing is ever going to happen.

dating

IRISH WOMEN:

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

INDIAN WOMEN:

First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date: Wedding night.

dating

MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.

Second Date: She’s pregnant.

Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father’s girlfriend’s mother, her two cousins, her sister’s Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

BLACK WOMEN:

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.

flogging

ARAB WOMEN:

First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.

Second Date: You are flogged in public until you are dead.

No third date.

Put 'Em On The Glass





Monday, May 10, 2010

Mmm, Bowling

JACQUES: The Sports Issue, Trailer 2. from Jacques Magazine on Vimeo.



That's the Filipina-American beauty, Lauren Young.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

The Real 300 Workout

From the DVD of the movie 300.


Saturday, May 08, 2010

Kobe, it's time to man up and own the photo shoot


From the LA Times:
Kobe, Kobe, Kobe. It must seem like the Week of Judgment that followed your "White Hot" fashion statement should be disappearing, at long last, over the horizon.

You've absorbed incredulity, mockery and multiple questions about the way you wrapped yourself all in white for a photo spread in Sunday's Los Angeles Times Magazine. The enormous blow back and the multiple online parodies must be getting a little old.

But I'm here to tell you, No. 24, you could have turned the spotlight's glare into a warm glow instead of a punishing laser if you had lived only by the one rule you never seem to forget on the basketball court: Own the moment.

You should have embraced every one of those magazine pictures — Oh White-Scrubbed Spa Victim, Oh Doe-Eyed Bedouin Chief, Oh Baby-Faced Capone in Headband & Fedora. That would have made you the master (or at least not the victim) of the moment. Instead, you fell back on a tiresome locker-room cliché.

Sports reporters asked you how you liked the pictures (which you spent 45 minutes primping and posing for) and you labeled them "too artsy." You said the pictures had been "doctored up." You suggested they jumped out at people because of some "Photoshop" sorcery.

Kobe, my man, when you wear the hijab, wear it with pride! Tread down the runway like you storm down the court! Give us a little femme, but spare us the fatale.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

NATIONAL "OFFEND A FEMINIST" WEEK

This shouldn't be too hard (oops, I said "hard"), cuz EVERYTHING offends Feminists.

But, I think we shall go above and beyond the call of doodie here at The After Party.

With thanks to Stogie.

First, we spank them.



Then, we give them something to stick in their mouths.



And, to finish the job, we blow in their faces.


Monday, May 03, 2010

Kobe Bryant Has Sex Change And Converts To Islam

Not that there's anything wrong with it.


Source.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

I Want To Do Bad Things To Her

This photo really gets me and I don't know why.

Maybe the Fu2rman (he of "The Fu2rman Fetish Minute) could explain.

What's with the whipped cream, and why's she sitting on the toilet, and why do I like it so much?

It boggles my mind.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Art Lesson

You can tell this is "Art" because you can't see her clit ... and, also, there's lots of other abstract stuff (stuff that doesn't have a name, like designs and stuff) in the picture.

So, since it's art, it's not just puerile. It even has some redeeming social value. And, that's a good thing, you know, beyond just giving you a hardon.

Psycho Killer

Australia's Telegraph has Rodney Alcala's large stash of photos of women he took in the 1970s. h/t Goodshit blog.

You're talking a lot, but you're not saying anything. When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed. Say something once, why say it again? You better run run run run run run run away.