Monday Morning Babefast...The Most Important Meal of the Week

Because you need something to take your mind off the hangover...

World Cup And The MAGIC Spray

If you need yet another reason to laugh at soccer, here it is...

I have watched about as much soccer as ESPN forces on me via Sports Center.  But one of the things that just cracks me up is The Magic Spray!

What the hell is this?!  Come on!  Who is dumb enough to fall for this nonsense?

I mean look at this guy, look at the intense agony on his face.  Did he just get shot?  Did his ankle just go Joe Theismann on him?  If you are not a Football fan, or you're too young to get the reference, I included the video.  And yes, I said FOOTBALL, period!  I'm not calling it American Football...

The video will show what an injury looks like, the stuff that happens on the soccer field is something else entirely.

THAT is an injury, if a stupid spray is all it takes to get them back on the field, good as new, like nothing happened, one can only call it theater.

Just like the theater in the NBA finals a few years back when Paul Pierce was carried off the floor by his teammates, only to roll out in a fucking wheelchair to return to the game.  Oh yeah, good as new, like nothing happened!

Paul Pierce should have joined the drama club instead of the basketball team, he would have been very good.

Do any of these so-called athletes actually believe we are buying this crap?

Joe Theismann didn't cry the way these pussies do, and he actually got hurt.

There was no fake spray, no wheelchair, and no World Wrestling style theatrics for Joe!

If these would-rather-be-actors want to continue in sports, then man up!  If not, join World Wrestling.  

That way they are not in Sports any more, they are in Sports Entertainment.

At least I could respect that.

Thank God it's over...

I Hired Some Day Laborers To Help With A Little Work Around the House

What can I say? My house is definitely in order ... for now.

Saturday Night Strippers...

Derek Fisher Is A Leader Of Men - Lakers Should Make Him Their Next Coach

From the LA Times:

Lakers' Brian Shaw, Cavaliers to talk about coaching position

While the team drafts forwards Devin Ebanks and Derrick Caracter, Shaw receives permission to look into Cleveland vacancy

.

The Lakers are playing fast and loose with Brian Shaw, the heir apparent to the coaching job, should Phil Jackson retire.

I have been saying for years (Fu2rman can attest to this) that Derek Fisher will one day go down as one of the greatest coaches in NBA history.

The man is destined to lead men into battle, and to come back with the spoils of victory. Rarely have I seen a man whose face is more marked by destiny.

Perhaps Jerry Buss sees what I see, and figures Shaw is expendable.

And, he is. Fisher for Coach, sooner than later.

But Dengler, you say, Derek Fisher has no experience as a Head Coach.

This is where a little knowledge of history comes in handy. Let's look at how Pat Riley, arguably one of the greatest ever, became Head Coach of the Lakers:

Riley returned to the NBA in 1977 as a broadcaster for the Lakers. During the 1979–80 season, when the team's head coach, Jack McKinney, was injured during a near fatal bicycle accident, assistant coach Paul Westhead took over the team's head coaching duties. Riley then moved from the broadcast booth to the bench as one of Westhead's assistant coaches.

Six games into the 1981–82 season, Magic Johnson said he wished to be traded because he was unhappy playing for Westhead. Shortly afterward, Lakers' owner Jerry Buss fired Westhead. At an ensuing press conference, with Jerry West at his side, Buss named West head coach. West, however, balked, and Buss awkwardly tried to name West as "offensive captain" and then named West and Riley as co-coaches.[4] West made it clear during the press conference that he would only assist Riley, and that Riley was the head coach.[5] Thereafter, Riley was the interim head coach, until his status became permanent.

Riley led the Lakers to four consecutive NBA Finals appearances. His first title came in his first season, against the Philadelphia 76ers.

You see, Pat Riley had no experience, got hired on the spot, as a mistake, and went on to lead the Lakers to a Championship in his very first season.

One might argue that this was possible because of the fact that Riley was coaching a team led by Magic Johnson. But, Derek Fisher would be coaching a team led by Kobe Bryant. And, Kobe respects Derek Fisher, saying Fish is the only guy on the team he listens to.

Buss remembers the history. If anyone has the balls to make such a move, it is the Lakers owner. Let's hope he follows his own blueprint for Championships.

Let Me Tell You The REAL Story Here.

Bynum Will Have Surgery After Attending World Cup

OK, so Andrew Bynum is delaying his surgery until after his World Cup trip.

  
Here's what some people don't know, Andrew Bynum is kind of a pussy.  

He is afraid to have this surgery. 

For whatever reason, there is a huge effort to get Americans interested in soccer.  

The thing is, we don't give a crap about this useless sport.  

It's boring!  Any sport that regularly allows a game to end in a tie is lame, (add hockey to that list).  Any sport where the players exchange clothes after the game is for women.  Any sport where the vuvuzela is the the most interesting topic of conversation is...well, I don't even know...

But who better to send to the World Cup than a newly crowned, (in the Lakers case, re-crowned),  NBA Champion?

They asked Kobe, he laughed at them.  They asked Lamar and Khloe, they wouldn't even return a call.  They asked Derek Fisher, and he wouldn't do it.  Artest?  HA!  Even Jordan Farmar told them to eat a dick!  They were pretty much down to Adam Morrison for God's sake!  

Then Bynum heard the news, and he jumped at it. 

Yeah, because Andrew Bynum is a huge soccer fan...paaleeeaase! 

Of course he's not, it is simply a way to avoid the surgery.   

What a pussy!

Elton John
Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding

The Band and Friends

Etta James and Dr John

After Stealing Car, Then a Police Cruiser, Naked "Dirty, Hot, and Slippery" Woman Faces Felony Charges, Marriage Proposals

From Ace

Tweaker Terminatrix:

As West Valley City police Capt. Tom McLachlan said, "This was an episode that is out of the normal."

And that's an understatement.

A man was pulled over, posting business signs on the side of the road. Sylvina Beagley pulled up next to him and got out of her car.

"Unique thing about that was that, uh she was not wearing any clothes," McLachlan said.

Then she decided to steal his car, driving north toward West Valley City.

The man jumped into her abandoned car and followed Beagley, while dialing 911.

At 5300 South, she crashed into a gate on ATK property and ran. Officers eventually caught up with Beagley, but they couldn't quite physically catch her.

"She did have blood on her body from the initial crash. She was hot and sweaty, dirty, and very slippery. She managed to escape the grasp of the two officers," McLachlan said.

And she was off again! This time she got into a squad car and drove away, only to crash into another gate, hit a burm and soar 50 feet in the air.

Beagley didn't stop there either. She ran from the totaled car and scaled a barbed wire fence.

Officers realized a Taser was necessary to stop her, and so it ended.

And, in news from the world of Islam,

Saudi Women Vow to Breastfeed Their Drivers in Accordance With Recent Fatwa if They’re Not Given Right to Drive

Islam is such a great religion. I'm surprised that more men don't convert.

This Is Awesome!

Rent a White Guy

Confessions of a fake businessman from Beijing

By Mitch Moxley

Not long ago I was offered work as a quality-control expert with an American company in China I’d never heard of. No experience necessary—which was good, because I had none. I’d be paid $1,000 for a week, put up in a fancy hotel, and wined and dined in Dongying, an industrial city in Shandong province I’d also never heard of. The only requirements were a fair complexion and a suit.

“I call these things ‘White Guy in a Tie’ events,” a Canadian friend of a friend named Jake told me during the recruitment pitch he gave me in Beijing, where I live. “Basically, you put on a suit, shake some hands, and make some money. We’ll be in ‘quality control,’ but nobody’s gonna be doing any quality control. You in?”

I was.

And so I became a fake businessman in China, an often lucrative gig for underworked expatriates here. One friend, an American who works in film, was paid to represent a Canadian company and give a speech espousing a low-carbon future. Another was flown to Shanghai to act as a seasonal-gifts buyer. Recruiting fake businessmen is one way to create the image—particularly, the image of connection—that Chinese companies crave. My Chinese-language tutor, at first aghast about how much we were getting paid, put it this way: “Having foreigners in nice suits gives the company face.”

Six of us met at the Beijing airport, where Jake briefed us on the details. We were supposedly representing a California-based company that was building a facility in Dongying. Our responsibilities would include making daily trips to the construction site, attending a ribbon-cutting ceremony, and hobnobbing. During the ceremony, one of us would have to give a speech as the company’s director. That duty fell to my friend Ernie, who, in his late 30s, was the oldest of our group. His business cards had already been made...

You can go read the rest, (here), but you get the idea.

This is freakin' great! If I was out of work, I'd do whatever I could to get one of these gigs.

How great would this be?

The prestige of being an equal partner, with none of the responsibilities...it's like being a wife!

Monday Morning Babefast...The Most Important Meal of the Week

Because you need something to take your mind off the hangover...

Yankees Get Bitch-Slapped By Lesbian Lady Gaga

It's a God damned shame. What has happened to the state of manhood when this kind of thing is allowed to go on in the Clubhouse of America's pre-eminent sports franchise? From ESPN:

Following the Yankees' loss to the New York Mets on Friday night, Lady Gaga talked her way past security and into the Yankees' clubhouse. She reportedly met with some players, including Robinson Cano. The media, which is supposed to be allowed into the clubhouse 10 minutes after the final pitch, was held out.

The New York Post reported on Sunday that Yankees co-chairman Hal Steinbrenner was furious at the display Lady Gaga put on in the clubhouse -- dressed in a half-buttoned Yankees jersey and a bikini bottom, she swilled whiskey and fondled her chest, the Post said, citing sources ...

Yankees manager Joe Girardi says he doesn't think celebrities cause a distraction for his team.

"Our guys know that when it's time to play, it's time to play, and they're used to it," Girardi said.

There were reports that Alex Rodriguez met with Gaga on Friday, but Cano says he was the only player to see her.

"She can sing, I'll tell you that," Cano said.

No matter what you might think of her talent, and you gotta admit it is considerable (even if you don't like her music), Lady Gaga is a carpet-munching cunt.

For those of you from Hoboken, I'll spell it out; SHE'S A LESBIAN, A DYKE, A MOUTH-BREATHING, TUNA-EATING, FRIEND OF STEVIE. SHE'S A LESBIAN GUYS.

This is fucking ridiculous.

Dudes should never let themselves be manipulated by a Lesbian. It makes you look like a bitch. It's the ultimate pussy-whip. In fact, it's a pussy bitch slap.

Look, the only kind of Lady Gaga vocalizing Robinson Cano ought to be interested in is the bitch humming while deep-throating his veiny, pulsating bleach-goo-spewing tubesteak.

It's fucking embarrassing that the dumbass Yankee fucking fuckwad, motherfucking players allowed this bitch to come into their locker room, dressed like that, fondling her breasts, and acting like she wanted it.

The Yankees should have pulled out their meat and asked her if she was ready to be fucked by the whole team, and if she said, "No," they should have thrown her out of the fucking clubhouse, flying and tumbling, wig over spiked-heels.


Joe Girardi is acting like a prick pimp, a "Rent Boy" Ambassador. He ought to be fired.

And, quite frankly, one has to wonder if the Yankees have the stones to be Champions this year, after a pathetic display like that.

Saturday Night Strippers...

MOJO

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Jefferson Jericho Blues



I Should Have Known It

This is an ad for a Russian Car Insurance Company. I think. . .

Steve Nash Commercial

Everything I thought about Steve Nash is confirmed in this commercial.

First, he is a soccer fan, and we all know you can't trust a soccer fan.

Second, he looked awesome scoring against children on the soccer field and the basketball court.  What a big man!  I guess that is why he has a reputation for being one of the NBA's toughest players.

Last, my favorite, (read sarcasm), Women-with-Antlers-Loving-Canadian loves them so much he wants to be one. Or, at very least, dress like one.

Nice sports bra there tough guy!

Just In Case There Was Any Doubt....

Iran cleric wants 'special weapons' to deter enemy

TEHRAN, Iran – The hardline spiritual mentor of Iran's president has made a rare public call for producing the "special weapons" that are a monopoly of a few nations — a veiled reference to nuclear arms.

The Associated Press on Monday obtained a copy of a book written by Ayatollah Mohammad Taqi Mesbah Yazdi in which he wrote Iran should not deprive itself of the right to produce these "special weapons."

Iran's government, as well as its clerical hierarchy, have repeatedly denied the country is seeking nuclear weapons, as alleged by the U.S. and its allies.

Correctly alleged, obviously.

The Security Council last week imposed a fourth round of sanctions in response to Tehran's refusal to halt uranium enrichment, which Iran maintains is only for its nuclear energy program, but could conceivably be used to produce material for weapons.

The new U.N. sanctions call for an asset freeze of another 40 additional companies and organizations, including 22 involved in nuclear or ballistic missile activities.

Yazdi's hardline views, including devotion to the Mahdi, a messiah-like figure to reappear ahead of judgement day, have had a strong impact on Ahmadinejad, who shows him more respect than any other senior cleric.

Yazdi's book, "The Islamic Revolution, a Surge in Political Changes in History," was written in 2005 and then reprinted last year, but would have only had a very limited circulation among senior clerics and would not have been widely known.

"The most advanced weapons must be produced inside our country even if our enemies don't like it. There is no reason that they have the right to produce a special type of weapons, while other countries are deprived of it," Yazdi said.

Yazdi is a member of the Assembly of Experts, a conservative body of 86 senior clerics that monitors Iran's supreme leader and chooses his successor. He also heads the Imam Khomeini Educational and Research Institute, an Islamic think tank, in the holy city of Qom, 80 miles (130 kilometers) south of the capital.

This guy has influence over the Iran's president and picking his successor.  

It's not a question of, Does Iran want nuclear technology for peaceful purposes or for weapons?  That is clear as day.  

The ONLY question is, Do you want this country possessing nuclear weapons?

Monday Morning Babefast...The Most Important Meal of the Week

Because you need something to take your mind off the hangover...

Things Can Only Get Better

Howard Jones

Saturday Night Strippers...

Now It's OK To Discriminate Against SOME Gays?

Let me see if I have this straight, no pun intended...

If you are gay, you should be allowed to participate in anything a straight person is able to participate in?

Yes...UNLESS you're one of those dreaded Israeli Gays!

Madrid gay pride march bans Israelis over Gaza flotilla raids

A delegation of gay residents of Tel Aviv has been banned from joining a gay pride march in Madrid because authorities in the Israeli city have not condemned the recent attack on the Gaza flotilla.

"After what has happened, and as human rights campaigners, it seemed barbaric to us to have them taking part," explained Antonio Poveda, of Spain's Federation of Lesbians, Gays, Transexuals and Bisexuals. "We don't just defend out own little patch."

The Tel Aviv group have reacted angrily to the decision, claiming that the Madrid activists were getting their priorities wrong by mixing the nine flotilla deaths with gay pride.

"I cannot recall anyone asking the Tel Aviv city hall to either support or condemn in this case. That is not their job. I also don't recall Madrid's gay organisations condemning any of the Palestinian terrorist attacks on cafes or buses," Eytan Schwartz, a spokesman for the city told Spain's El Mundo newspaper.

"Don't they know that Islamist fundamentalists don't just want to finish off Israel, but that they also believe homosexuals should 'cure themselves' or die?"

"It is shameful that they should join with pro-Palestinian and fundamentalist groups which are not exactly tolerant with homosexuality," he said.

"Why do they mix politics with a gay pride procession? We were invited as an apolitical association and we do not represent the government," Mike Hamel, one of the Israeli invitees, said.

So there it is.  The organizers just made a total generalization about this group of gays based on where they are from.

So here's something I've been afraid to say, but now Antonio Poveda, of Spain's Federation of Lesbians, Gays, Transexuals and Bisexuals has made it acceptable...

I'm fine with the Los Angeles Gays, they are great people, but I can't stand those San Francisco Gays!

See how retarded that sounds Antonio?

And Lesbians don't count everyone loves hot Lesbians...

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? 

Self-identified liberals and Democrats do badly on questions of basic economics.

By DANIEL B. KLEIN

Who is better informed about the policy choices facing the country—liberals, conservatives or libertarians? According to a Zogby International survey that I write about in the May issue of Econ Journal Watch, the answer is unequivocal: The left flunks Econ 101.

Zogby researcher Zeljka Buturovic and I considered the 4,835 respondents' (all American adults) answers to eight survey questions about basic economics. We also asked the respondents about their political leanings: progressive/very liberal; liberal; moderate; conservative; very conservative; and libertarian. 

Rather than focusing on whether respondents answered a question correctly, we instead looked at whether they answered incorrectly. A response was counted as incorrect only if it was flatly unenlightened.

Consider one of the economic propositions in the December 2008 poll: "Restrictions on housing development make housing less affordable." People were asked if they: 1) strongly agree; 2) somewhat agree; 3) somewhat disagree; 4) strongly disagree; 5) are not sure. 

Basic economics acknowledges that whatever redeeming features a restriction may have, it increases the cost of production and exchange, making goods and services less affordable. There may be exceptions to the general case, but they would be atypical.

Therefore, we counted as incorrect responses of "somewhat disagree" and "strongly disagree." This treatment gives leeway for those who think the question is ambiguous or half right and half wrong. They would likely answer "not sure," which we do not count as incorrect.

In this case, percentage of conservatives answering incorrectly was 22.3%, very conservatives 17.6% and libertarians 15.7%. But the percentage of progressive/very liberals answering incorrectly was 67.6% and liberals 60.1%. The pattern was not an anomaly...

...The survey also asked about party affiliation. Those responding Democratic averaged 4.59 incorrect answers. Republicans averaged 1.61 incorrect, and Libertarians 1.26 incorrect.

Adam Smith described political economy as "a branch of the science of a statesman or legislator." Governmental power joined with wrongheadedness is something terrible, but all too common. Realizing that many of our leaders and their constituents are economically unenlightened sheds light on the troubles that surround us.

Is this really any surprise?

From my experience in talking with liberal friends, this totally rings true.  The thing I notice is that liberals dwell in theory, not reality.

A great example is Obama's response to the oil spill...He looks incompetent, so he puts a moratorium on deep water drilling.  But that creates less oil supply, loss of jobs, loss of tax revenue, etc.  It doesn't help, but it FEELS like the right thing to do.  

Feelings are great, but you have to look at the real affect it has.

Like the question above, "Restrictions on housing development make housing less affordable."

It feels great to say limit development, save the forest or whatever.  But it does have an affect.  Less supply equals higher prices.

These are dots that liberals don't seem to be able to connect.

My Two Favorite Subjects

Whiskey and Women

R L Burnside
Let My Baby Ride



Carl Sims
It Ain't A Juke Joint Without The Blues

HOW DID JEFFERSON KNOW?

When we get piled

upon one another in large cities, as in Europe,

we shall become as corrupt as Europe.

Thomas Jefferson

The democracy will cease to exist

when you take away from those

who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

Thomas Jefferson

It is incumbent on every

generation to pay its own debts as it goes.

A principle which if acted on would save

one-half the wars of the world.

Thomas Jefferson

I predict future happiness for

Americans if they can prevent the government

from wasting the labors of the people under the

pretense of taking care of them.

Thomas Jefferson

My reading of history convinces me

that most bad government results from too much

government.

Thomas Jefferson

No free man shall ever be debarred

the use of arms.

Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the

people to retain the right to keep and bear arms

is, as a last resort, to protect themselves

against tyranny in government.

Thomas Jefferson

The tree of liberty must be

refreshed from time to time with the blood of

patriots and tyrants.

Thomas Jefferson

To compel a man to subsidize with

his taxes the propagation of ideas which he

disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:

'I believe that

banking institutions are more dangerous to

our liberties than standing armies.

If the American people ever allow

private banks to control the issue of their

currency, first by inflation, then by

deflation, the banks and corporations that will

grow up around the banks will deprive the people

of all property - until their children

wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers

conquered.'

Teh Gays, They Eat The Poo Poo

Mohammed, you know the leader of the Religion of Peace, he liked to eat the Poo Poo too.

Does that mean Mohammed was gay?

Yes, I think that is certainly true.

Mohammed Fucking

The Babe Last Night

Somehow, it got lost in the nuance of the conversation, and I forgot to mention that her underwear was inside out.

Monday Morning Babefast...The Most Important Meal of the Week

Because you need something to take your mind off the hangover...

Pau, What Did You Say?!?!

Pau Gasol feels, tastes and smells Kobe's desire?

Ewww!

Well This Is Refreshing

Vatican says world ignores Christians in Mideast

NICOSIA, Cyprus – The Vatican said Sunday that the international community is ignoring the plight of Christians in the Middle East, and that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the war in Iraq and political instability in Lebanon have forced thousands to flee the region.  

A working paper released during Pope Benedict XVI's pilgrimage to Cyprus to prepare for a crisis summit of Middle East bishops in Rome in October also cites the "extremist current" unleashed by the rise of "political Islam" as a threat to Christians.  

The paper said that the line between religion and politics is blurred in Muslim countries, "relegating Christians to the precarious position of being considered non-citizens, despite the fact that they were citizens of their countries long before the rise of Islam."  

"The key to harmonious living between Christians and Muslims is to recognize religious freedom and human rights," it said.  

In his final Mass in Cyprus on Sunday, Benedict said he was praying that the October meeting will focus the attention of the international community "on the plight of those Christians in the Middle East who suffer for their beliefs."

I just wonder how much attention this is going to get. 

You know, 'cause if Christians are persecuted, they must deserve it.

Corona Beer: BANNED From All After Party Events

In our constant pursuit of getting rid of Pussified Men, let me take you on a journey...

This is a Corona commercial that's been around for a little while.  Kind of funny, dude gets caught checking out a hottie, his GF busts him, no biggie.

In the next installment, we some redemption for our man here...Oh but wait!

What's this?  Of course!  He is either too stupid or too much of a douche-bag to bust her.  I was on the phone with the Wicked Pixie when I first saw this.  My though in the moment was, WOW! what a bitch!  But as we talked, I realized I was pissed at HIM for being the bitch.

Vidivodo.com : corona beer commercial - hq  Etiket: funny corona beer

Then a third edition of this little soap opera came out, I haven't been able to find it anywhere, so I can only explain it.  And here goes...

Our little pussified man-girl sees the white bikini clad chick from the first ad, BUT...this time she has two equally hot friends with her...mmmmm, three tiny bikinis on appropriate bikini bodies...frolicking at the waters edge, getting just a little wet, oh yes, a splash fight, things could turn deliciously naughty at any moment...mmm, mmm, MMMM!

But camera pans back to our sissy and her uh, I mean his, castrating other half...

What does he do?  Tell her to get off her lazy ass and join them, and bring at least one of them home with her or don't bother coming home!!!

Nope...

In the most disgusting act possible, he takes his own lime, removes his shades and squeezes the lime in his own face...

I know you could say, 'Fu2rman, lighten up, it's only a commercial.'

And you're right, but it is a symptom of something bigger.  For too long men have been the butt of jokes, and because we are the stronger and better sex, we allowed it.  But now, it's gone too far.

Just like when a child tests the boundries a parent has set, so too has the feminonsense movement.  It's gotten so bad that even beer ads think it's OK to portray men as panzies and women as the superior gender.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE women, small ones, bigger ones, not fatties of course, dark ones, light ones, women are great!  

But what I've had enough of is thinking that either the sexes are the same, or the women's way is the RIGHT way.  Men and women are not the same, never were, never will be.  So it's time to put a halt to women making men into women.  And sometimes a womans approach IS the better approach, but not always!  I mean jeez, it's usually so full of randomness that who could follow it anyway.

I know it will be difficult to change this trend, but when you see an ad like this, stop using their product.

When you're out in world, and you see a little man-girl like the one in the Corona ad, we have to intervene. 

In the intervention, you do one of two things:  Tell him to stand up, get in his chicks face and demand his testicles back!

Or...

If  he refuses, or fails, it means he is too far gone, and we have to leave him behind.  You then yank his man-card, tear it up in front of him, slap a skirt and heels on him, and nobody will even remember he used to be a man.

Ah, I feel better, now it's time for a Mexican beer and some rays by the pool...

Better make mine a Pacifico...

YouTube Censoring IDF Videos For Not Having Enough Viewers

That's an unheard of excuse. They must be scraping the bottom of the barrel in their excuses for siding with evil.

Check this out:

Hey Jaco,

Here is an e-mail going around from the Israeli community:

-Total

Hello

The IDF (Israeli Defense Force or Israeli Army) has a video on U Tube

explaining what's going on, but U Tube wants to remove it by using
the excuse as not too many people are logging in.

Please forward this email, so many people will log in and the IDF will be able

to have its voice heard. Thanks

http://www.youtube.com/user/idfnadesk

Go watch it, and force YouTube to come up with another dumbass excuse.

Can't wait to see what they think of next.

The Secret Behind The Gore Divorce

This is a day that is a long time in coming.  The day that Al and Tipper Gore finally split. 

I've heard some speculation...

Tipper can't swallow Al's Global Warming bullshit anymore either! 

Which leads to...

 Even Al's wife is sick of him!

Yes, and who wouldn't be?

Or that she is going to take half his shit, while there is still something to take.   

You know, before the Global Warming Hoax is fully exposed.

 

But these are all wrong, or at very least, the smallest part of the reason.

AL GORE IS GAY!

Seriously, think about it.  Remember 'The Kiss' between Al and Tipper?  Of course nobody bought it, even then, but wasn't there something odd about it?  

YES, there was, the dude loves schlong!  Look at the second picture, it's obvious.  Which is fine, I'm not saying his love of the wiener is a bad thing. Al can do whatever he wants, it doesn't affect me.

That being said, remember this day, write it down, take a picture, do whatever you need to do...

After about a year or two, when the divorce is old news, Al is going to come out of the closet.

Not only that, he is going to need a new pet issue when Global Warming dies, so he's going to jump on the issue he wanted in the first place, but was afraid to bank his political fu2r on...Gay Rights.

That is the Fu2r of Al Gore my friends.

Preparing Pussies

Your Thoughts? Ottawa: Kids’ Soccer League Rules That Any Team Winning By Over 5 Points Will LOSE Game

Bank Babe Fired For Being Too Hot

In a perfect world, all bank tellers would be hot.

What the hell is wrong with this bank? I mean, really:

MYFOXNY.COM - Debbie Lorenzana says she lost her job at a Citibank because the men who worked there couldn't handle her hot body.

Lorenzana, 33, is a single mom who says she has a long track record of high marks and awards from the companies where she has worked. She says her bosses at a Citibank branch in at the Chrysler Building in Manhattan told her that they couldn't concentrate because she is too sexy.

Lorenzana insists she dressed similar to the rest of her female colleagues, but bank managers didn't see it that way.

"Because their body type and their body figures were different than mine, I was drawing too much attention. It was distracting," Lorenzana told Good Day NY on Thursday.

Lorenzana says she was told she wasn't allowed to wear turtlenecks, pencil skirts, or fitted business suits. She requested a transfer and got it, but was then fired.

"At no moment ever, ever did I wear while I worked at Citibank anything that showed any cleavage, and for that matter my legs- my skirt was at my knees."

Citi issued a statement on Thursday in response to the allegations by Lorenzana:

"We believe this lawsuit is without merit and we will defend against it vigorously. We respect the privacy of all of our employees and therefore cannot comment more specifically on this litigation, this former employee's overall performance, or the reasons for her termination- which an arbitration panel must resolve. Citi is committed to fostering a culture of inclusion and providing a respectful environment in the workplace. We have a strong commitment to diversity and we do not condone, or tolerate, discrimination within our business for any reason."

Lorenzana said she was transferred to a branch at Rockefeller Center before she was dismissed.

She says she has found another job in the banking industry and is wearing the same clothes with no issues.

The Village Voice showcased her plight with a cover story in its latest issue.

But seriously, none of this matters. She'll make more money working in the media world in the next year than she would have in a twenty year career at the bank.

Perfect Game Stolen By Incredibly Stupid Umpire

From the LA Times:

DETROIT (AP) — Armando Galarraga squeezed the ball in his mitt, stepped on first base with his right foot and was ready to celebrate.

What happened next will be the talk of baseball for the rest of this season and likely a lot longer: the perfect game that wasn't.

Umpire Jim Joyce emphatically called Cleveland's Jason Donald safe, the Detroit Tigers argued and a chorus of groans and boos echoed in Comerica Park.

Then Joyce emphatically said he was wrong and later, in tears, hugged Galarraga and apologized.

"It was the biggest call of my career, and I kicked the (stuff) out of it," Joyce said, looking and sounding distraught as he paced in the umpires' locker room. "I just cost that kid a perfect game."

"I thought he beat the throw. I was convinced he beat the throw, until I saw the replay," he said after the Tigers' 3-0 win.

Tigers general manager Dave Dombrowski said Joyce asked to speak with Galarraga. Denied the first perfect game in Tigers history, Galarraga appreciated the gesture.

"You don't see an umpire after the game come out and say, 'Hey, let me tell you I'm sorry,'" Galarraga said. "He felt really bad. He didn't even shower."

Sack Tapping: Why Being A Young Teen These Days Is More Creepy Than Ever

As they say, "Boys will be boys."

After taking a glance at Google trends, we noticed an odd standout for the No. 1 spot of hot searches: sack tapping. And yes, it's exactly what you think it is.

Sack tapping is the latest dangerous craze to hit schools. The object of the game is to punch (or slap, flick or actually tap) a boy in the groin to see who can handle the most pain. It doesn't sound like there can be a clear winner here in this "game."

Now I Understand How King David Fucked Up

Bathseba

There's no doubt about it.

If I happened to see this babe showering, I would do everything in my power to fuck her brains out, and then send her husband to die on the front lines of a war, so I could fuck her brains out some more.

Why Being A Kid Was More Creepy Back In 1970

For God's sake.

"A luscious licking Lolli ... Fried Clams to eat ..."

WTF?

"Next time you're in Howard Johnson's, get Mom and Dad to pick up a Registration Blank and sign you up."



I would have been seven at this time. I always thought the adult world view was whacked out and creepy. I remember thinking, "Are these people seeing the same world I'm seeing?"

As I've gotten older, I've tended to believe it was me who was mistaken. This commercial might force me to readdress that assessment.